When A Door Closes, A Window Opens

9:58 PM

Last April, my heart was settled that I will only be enrolling to do my thesis this coming semester. Arrangements are yet to be made, but I am definitely back home for good. However, as much as I like staying at home, I wasn't used to doing nothing. Unable to handle boredom at the same time missing the stress, I knew I had to do something worthwhile. So since April, I was on 'Operation: Job Hunt'.

I initially had two jobs. The first was a tutorial to a kid who could hardly read and write yet. The second was another online job, but this time it was academic writing. The tutorial no longer continued after one meeting because the school couldn't really pay me. On the other hand, I couldn't ascend in becoming a regular employee for the online academic writing site because there were so many inconsistencies.

I felt discouraged. I wanted to work, but it felt like God didn't want me to. So two weeks ago, I cried my heart out to Him. Everyday I asked Him for answers, but His answer remained the same - TRUST. The 12th came and my mother received a text message from Teacher Francie, school directress of The Learning Tree. She was asking me if I could pass a program proposal for the writing workshop I've mentioned two months ago. I screamed with joy when my mother read the message. I was only praying for it for a week, and then God opens a window. 

I met Teacher Francie last Thursday, and it was probably the most nerve-wracking experience. I was interviewed on the spot and I was not ready! I think by God's grace, I was able to answer her right. I wasn't accepted yet, but my program proposal was up for consideration.

I was supposed to go to an afternoon activity of our church when I suffered from abdominal pains. I had a sleepover in the evening, so I was desperately praying to God for the pain to go away. Good thing, it didn't last long and I was able to make it. It was heartwarming just listening and sharing stories with my sisters in Christ.

I think sleepovers should no longer be called sleepovers because we hardly get to sleep. We slept passed midnight and we were supposed to wake up at 5am for the Dawn Prayer. Our COC was in-charge of the program. I hardly slept at all because I felt really uncomfortable. The Dawn Prayer ended at around 7am and I had a hosting stint from 10am-5pm. I actually signed up as a volunteer for a CD Launching, and I ended up being automatically selected. I wasn't only an emcee - I also acted as a game master and an organizer of the event.

I had a number of emceeing experiences, but they were only limited to church. I knew the people inside church, so it was relatively easy on coming up with what to say. Hosting a CD Launching was totally different. It was a different crowd and they were all younger than me! I didn't have my friends in the crowd, but I gained a lot. Also I received a text message from one of the organizers saying that she wanted to hire me! Guess I never thought that I would get hired for my talent in emceeing.

Just when I thought my emceeing stints could take a break, my mother asked me if I could emcee for her workshop recital. It wasn't as intense as Saturday's, but still I had to wear my Sunday's best and project a more composed image.

It was probably the most exhausting weekend I've ever experienced. Yet, in spite of aching legs and the lack of sleep, I was beaming with excitement. These weren't really my dreams, but I knew in my heart that these were God's dreams for me. He knew the desires of my heart and He was giving me a taste of what they're like. As I wait for God's direction in my life, I would like to continue going through windows, just when doors are closed.