o•a•sis /ōˈāsis/
Noun: A pleasant or peaceful area or period in the midst of a difficult, troubled, or hectic place or situation.

As some of you probably know, I am down to my last semester as a college undergraduate. I only have one subject to complete, and that is my thesis in communication. You are probably thinking that I am living an easy life unbothered by time constraints. However, that is all one big misconception.

Other than being a "transitioning" college student, I am a teacher (to be more precise, a workshop facilitator), a daughter, and a disciple-maker. When God blessed me with a part-time teaching job last July, I scheduled my days carefully. Here's a view of what I am doing in a week:

On Mondays, I teach basic journalism for interested elementary students. In the afternoon, I tutor English and Filipino to a home-schooled child.

From Tuesdays to Fridays, I do my thesis at home.

Saturdays are what I call my "free" days. Being free in this context doesn't really mean I could relax or get away for a while. I only used the word "free" to describe my Saturdays, because I want to allow flexibility in my schedule. This means I could choose to do my thesis, go out with my family or friends, or take some time off in front of the computer.

Lastly, Sundays are exclusively for church worship and ministry. As much as possible, I try not to think of my work or my thesis every Sunday. There are people who need me, and I need them as well. So I make sure that I give them my full attention for the whole Sunday.

Honestly, I thought things would go easy for me if I follow this schedule that I set. I am also daughter and the eldest one in fact. As a love language to my parents, I do some of the chores in the house. I always wash the dishes, and sometimes - especially when my mom comes home late - I cook dinner. Our family loves to talk, especially over dinner. Believe it or not, it takes approximately two hours for us to get up from the dining table. We talk, we laugh, talk some more, laugh some more.

So imagine how much time is consumed in a day. As a teacher, I also spend time to study and prepare the materials for my students. Although there are times, I am exhausted physically, I am actually more exhausted mentally and emotionally.

The pressure to finish my thesis and to graduate this October is mounting. With almost a month a left, I feel excited, nervous and pressured all at the same time. And I think those emotions manifested last week when I could no longer understand what I was reading nor think of an appropriate paraphrase to put into my research. My Facebook statuses were filled with expressions of exasperation like "I could feel my brain cells evaporating". I was tired... really really tired.

As easy for others to say that I should rest, I couldn't. I was traumatized of my experience before and it was affecting me. I was consumed by the idea of working and working and working until I could be satisfied. There is a deadline that I needed to meet and I was pressuring myself to meet that.

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went of to a solitary place, where he prayed. (Mark 1:35)

Although this verse gives us a picture of the prayerful attitude of Jesus Christ, it struck me differently. Jesus rose up "very early in the morning" to pray. It was still dark and everyone, even His disciples, were still asleep. Jesus, as wonderful as He already is, sacrificed His time for sleeping to pray. He was already a busy man at that time, so I'm pretty sure He needed all the time that he could get just to recharge before doing going to another town. However, He made time to talk to God. He went out to flee from things that could probably distract Him. He MADE TIME.

In order to compensate lost time, I sacrifice my time to talk to God and for Him to talk to me. As embarrassing as it is to admit, it's becoming often that I do that. I was guilty when I read the passage above. I was thinking, "What excuse am I giving not to spend time with God when Jesus was also busy?"

So for the past two days, I did not open a single window of anything work-related or thesis-related. I spent two full days of being replenished by God's Word and by the company of God's amazing people. It felt like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert, as my friend calls it. It feels refreshing... absolutely refreshing.

I guess God intentionally made me feel tired because I had become self-absorbed of both my work and my thesis. I was in that desert, parched and dried up, yet I still did not try to look for an oasis. But God took away the very thing I was holding unto - my intellect - to humble myself and focus on Him alone.

So if Jesus Christ was already a "busy man", who are we not to spend time talking to God and listening to His voice?

If I were to produce a soundtrack for my summer, I would summarize everything in "Roots Before Branches" by Room for Two. I first heard the song during the season finale of Glee, and I fell in love with the lyrics. It talks about establishing an identity before spreading wings or stretching branches. You may listen to the song and read its lyrics by clicking the video below:
Branching Out
I have mentioned before in my previous post that "I would like to continue to go through windows, just when doors are closed". Two job opportunities are waiting for me this July. The first is to conduct a junior journalism workshop (which is also found in the same link above. The second is to teach creative writing with an integration of reading and English grammar in a home school setting. I still don't know how the thesis will work out, that's why I'm putting both on hold.


These job offers came to me unexpectedly. I don't know if you have experienced the same, but I realized that sometimes we just need to stop hunting. If we're wise, we wait for the hunt to come to us. The same principle applies when we're waiting on God, except we are not to be wise - we are to be faithful (Note: I'm not degrading God to a hunt. I'm just trying to create an analogy here.). I'm not saying we are to do nothing while we wait. We are to exert effort as well but not forgetting that God has a plan. It may not be now, but if we continue to trust, He will eventually answer.


Quenching the Thirst
The first Sunday after I came back from Baguio, I was in culture shock. It felt like the church was plagued with a lot of new faces! Although I had a number of chances going home, the moments I share with the people in church are always so fleeting. It was such a struggle juggling 2-3 days among family, friends and sometimes, individual dates. Of course, there are people who I wanted also to get to know, but I just couldn't squeeze time for them.


Among those that I had to give up my time was my home-grown ministry. There were opportunities in Baguio though, but I couldn't risk my safety since most of the activities were held during the evening. I knew God was sustaining me uniquely, but I was craving to come back to the ministry I love.


Assisting during the preparation and the duration of the camp was the best comeback. It was both what I wanted and what I needed. Although the physical preparation wasn't as rigorous as the others, I was preparing myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I was never a people-person, and being in this camp means, I have to be. I could easily relate to people who are my age and beyond, but to those in their early teens is more difficult. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but probably it's because I don't know what they talk about these days.


This year's summer youth camp was about engaging in spiritual warfare. I thought it was such a brave theme because all of us were fighting head on against the enemy. I know a lot of Christians who acknowledge the presence of sin but disregard about the enemy itself. They are too comfortable in where they are now that they don't know that complacency can be Satan's way into their hearts. We can't let our guard down. We have to put on the full armor.


Although I was spiritually preparing myself before the camp, I was dealing a lot of emotional issues. I even brought them to camp while trying to put on a strong font. However, during those four jam-packed days, I realized I was putting on a fake armor. The armor wasn't strong enough so Satan came into me filling me with doubt and anxiety. The armor wasn't of God, it was of myself. Therefore, it was brittle and easily broken.


I felt humbled and blessed after knowing everyone from the camp. I may have not developed a deep friendship with them, but they inspired me. Every tear, laughter, smile and conversation inspired me to play a vital role in their lives. Every young person came to that camp with different battles. Holding on to the victory that they have in Christ, no battle can take them down. So when the camp ended, everyone came out as soldiers... as victors in Christ.


PS: To all the campers who are reading this portion of my entry, I just want to thank you for you again. Though this segment is already quite lengthy, I still couldn't come up with the right words to describe how much you are all a blessing. My prayer is that you would also be a blessing to your families, your schools and your friends, just like what you all did to me. Hold on to that victorious promise. You are not alone. :)


Bearing Fruit
Though I have been a Christian for most of my life, I admit I was selective to some of his commands. One of those commands was obeying the call of discipleship. I am a disciple, but I struggled to become a disciple-maker. There were a lot of times I was already being pressured, but I didn't have the courage that I wasn't ready. I knew it shouldn't be an excuse, but I had a lot of personal issues to deal with back then. Accountability required vulnerability, and as some of you already know that was what I was most afraid about.

Upon my permanent return to Manila, I knew I had to set my heart and mind to finally obeying the call of discipleship. There's no more running away or making excuses. This is it. I began seriously praying about it, until the opportunity came a little before and after the youth camp.

These two girls have been attending the same church I'm in for a very long time. I didn't know them until the camp! They are friends to begin with and I was both blessed by them. When I began to have a heart for these girls, I sincerely asked God if these are the girls that I will be discipling. Days after, His answer was clear and soon after, these girls became my disciples.



I knew others have thought how quick the process was, but I wanted to strike while the iron is hot. These girls have been longing for a disciple, especially from a more particular ministry. Just like apples hanging from a tree, they are already so ripe that they are waiting for someone to pick them. Whenever I meet them, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have met these wonderful girls. And I am sure that together, we will grow beautifully with the love of Jesus Christ.


This entry might be long overdue, but God's faithfulness continues. This summer was only the beginning of what God has delightfully in store for the second half of the year. This is what it is to live, to write and to inspire... all for the glory of God.

Last April, my heart was settled that I will only be enrolling to do my thesis this coming semester. Arrangements are yet to be made, but I am definitely back home for good. However, as much as I like staying at home, I wasn't used to doing nothing. Unable to handle boredom at the same time missing the stress, I knew I had to do something worthwhile. So since April, I was on 'Operation: Job Hunt'.